When I was pregnant, I wish you had told me...

I think pregnancy is one of those things you don't really enjoy until after it's over.  Like high school or exercising, being pregnant is kind of hard to get through, but once it's over you look back on it with fondness.  And often wish you could do it all over again.  

I never suffered terrible morning sickness in the beginning (although my insensitive boss still thought I missed too much work due to nausea...) and I felt lucky that I never actually threw up.  I didn't gain an offensive amount of weight or have any noteworthy food cravings.  I only missed alcohol on holidays and I loved wearing cute maternity clothes.  Overall, pregnancy was pretty good to me. 

I bought a pregnancy book that I read before bed every passing week and I felt like I really knew what I was doing.  Of course I felt a little panicked at times, but we were definitely ready to be parents and so the fear didn't ever overwhelm the excitement.  I had the amazing opportunity (thanks Jared!) to quit my job after the first trimester, so I took my new position as baby incubator very seriously, and I definitely learned some things along the way...

1. Live the healthiest lifestyle you can. In the beginning, eat whatever you can keep down.  It doesn't matter what you eat, but you need to eat. I ate Poptarts nonstop throughout the first trimester because that was literally the only thing that didn't make me feel sick.  Once the morning sickness passes, eat as healthfully as you possibly can.  I ate so much junk food through the rest of my pregnancy, because that's what tasted yummy.  But I would have felt a lot better if I had been chowing down on salads and grilled chicken instead of Oreos and Salt & Vinegar Chips.  Try to exercise.  Even if all you can do is take a short walk, do it.  I was religious about riding the exercise bike every day for most of my first trimester, but one day I started feeling lightheaded and so I stopped all forms of exercise completely.  Big mistake.  I should have discussed the incident with my doctor and asked about an inhaler or other ideas for exercising.  My labor ended up lasting 27 hours, and if I had been in better shape it may have been slightly less exhausting.

2. If you have hopes about the sex of your baby, find out what you're having. I wanted a girl so badly, and I admit that I was a bit let down after our first ultrasound revealed that we were having a boy.  Now that Little J is here, I can't even remember why I wanted a girl first.  I'm just glad that I had some time to adjust my attitude before the babe was born.  If we had waited to be surprised, I would have been dealing with my feelings of disappointment on the day of his birth rather than focusing on the joy of the occasion.  If you truly don't care about the baby's sex, then the surprise will be exhilarating!  But if you are concerned about being disappointed, give yourself a chance to get those feelings out of the way before baby arrives. 

it's a boy!

3. Don't expect everyone to rejoice when you announce your pregnancy.  For us, finding out we were pregnant was the BEST news.  We were thrilled, we were ready and we couldn't wait to tell everyone.  The timing of your announcement is such a personal thing (some people insist on waiting until the risk of miscarriage has passed before making the news public).  But no matter when you choose to reveal your pregnancy, there will probably be somebody who isn't as thrilled as you expect them to be.  I still have feelings of hurt toward the people who didn't react the way I thought they should.  I don't think I ever could have fully prepared myself for reactions of anger or disapproval - but I never let the opinions of others influence my own feelings about my pregnancy.

4. Everything will hurt.  Your feet, legs, hips, back, shoulders, neck, fingers, stomach, lungs, genitals, eyes, head... and body parts you never even knew you had.  Even your feelings.  I'm serious, everything will hurt at some point before labor even starts.

5. Take pride in your birth plan.  Once people find out you are pregnant, all boundaries will disappear.  Be prepared to hear gory birthing details from every mother you know.  But mostly, be prepared to be asked to share every detail of your own birth plan.  Will you have an epidural?  Will you bank cord blood?  Will you have a midwife or a doctor?  Will you breastfeed?  To me, these were pretty personal questions, but nobody will be shy about asking them.  Answer if you want to, but don't try to please anyone.  No matter what your plan is, someone will tell you it's wrong.  Or crazy.  Or whatever.  Don't second guess yourself - your birth experience is yours, not theirs.  Do your research and decide what is best for you and your baby.  Have the darn epidural, and be proud of it! 

I could probably go on forever... so here's the rest of my short list.  The things I learned about pregnancy that I will do again (or do differently) next time:

• Take weekly pictures of my growing belly.  It's fun to look back on the changes and the cute maternity outfits I enjoyed wearing.
• Prepare the nursery (and clean the rest of the house) ahead of time. 
• Introduce our pets to the new baby's things before he arrives (including his hospital hat before he came home, so they can become accustomed to his smell before meeting him).
• Tell people the sex of the baby, but keep our name choice a secret.  Nobody will have the opportunity to make us second guess our name once it's on official documents!
• Pack a really great hospital bag (here's how I'd do it!).  Be thoughtful about what I need to bring (or not bring).
• Actually use the stuff I bring to the hospital.  Why did I listen to the lame hospital relaxation music station the whole time I was in labor when I had my iPod and my laptop in my bag?
• Record my thoughts and feelings about my pregnancy and delivery.  I know I have already forgotten so much more than I wanted to.  I wish I had written down Little J's birth story right away so I wouldn't leave out any details.
• Buy nursing bras closer to the end of my pregnancy.  The ones I bought when I was only 7 or 8 months pregnant were too small by the time my milk came in.  
• Take care of my belly skin.  I rubbed cocoa butter on my tummy for months, but my efforts sort of dwindled by the time my skin was actually doing most of its stretching.  I wish I had kept up with the lotioning to potentially prevent the huge, painful stretch marks I ended up with.
• Pre-wash all baby items with scent-free detergent.  Baby will have sensitive skin and I will want all clothes, blankies, burp clothes, etc. to be fresh and clean for him!
• Have some new baby outfits (and diapers) ready in a variety of sizes.  Little J was so much smaller than we expected, that we ended up needing to go out and buy smaller pants for him because everything we had was way too big! 
• Take it easy when I can.  Ask for help with household duties that may be difficult with a big belly (like cleaning the bathtub or pulling weeds).
• Pre-cook some meals.  Don't rely on Jared to make take-out runs for every meal (even before baby arrives, I lost the desire to cook anything).
• Just go ahead and purchase the pregnancy comfort products.  Spend whatever it takes to make the third trimester more pleasant (belly support bands, pregnancy pillows, humongous stretchy pants).
• Try to focus on the result of my pregnancy, rather than the discomforts.  It will all be worth it once baby arrives. 

Click here to read my post "When I was a brand new parent, I wish you had told me..."